Spring 2011 Happenings

 This post is to catch up with some of the things that we did during the spring of 2011. Even though we were a new family, we tried to keep the kids happy with events and things that would normally happen, like this first picture of Hunter with his basketball team. Even though he is a small guy, hunter has speed and slick moves to surprise even the best players.

I was able to go with Hunter and his class to the Ogden Dinosaur Park and Museum.

There are a ton of neat lifesize replicas of Dinousaurs for the kids to check out.

Hunter (in red) with some of his friends.

I was also able to go with Dallin on a Preschool trip to the Living Planet Aquarium. Here he is looking at the sting ray tank where you can pet the sting rays. The rays have had their stingers removed, so they won't hurt anyone. The worst thing that could happen is for someone to fall in and get wet, which a little girl did!

A nurse shark in one of the big displays.

This last one is of cousins Lance and Alyssa with Dallin at the Ogden Treehouse Museum. They came to visit from Texas because their Uncle Seth was getting married. They had a great time playing together!

Our first Christmas together

David and I were married on December 23, 2010. It was decided on quickly because we received our letters from the First Presidency stating that we could get sealed together just two days earlier on a Tuesday. By Thurdsay night at 6:30 we were at the Bountiful Temple surrounded by our closest friends and family that could come at such short notice. That was an exciting day! 

David and I had decided that we didn't want our kids to suffer, or our family to suffer having to watch them during the Christmas holiday. We took only one night for our honeymoon, and then returned to enjoy the holiday with our new family! We were lucky to have all the kids on Christmas morning- and we wanted it that way!  

Christmas morning chaos- we loved being together!

Tyler and Davey- new step brothers only 1 1/2 days earlier!

Tyler loving his stocking stuffer of goo

David and Dallin ready to head to my parents house

Here we are heading out to go to my parents house for a family gathering Christmas morning!



After unwrapping our presents we headed north 20 minutes to my parents house. There we had dinner with Great Grandma and Grandpa, Grandma and Grandpa, Randy and Katie and their four kids, Kristi, and my Uncle David. 

Grandma can often be found in the kitchen. I wish my hand was more steady that day- unfortunatly it was not because I was so excited to be married!

Mom and Dad are awesome at putting together group dinners!

What a cute couple! Randy and Katie enjoying a few minutes of quiet while the kids are playing in the basement.

 Uncle David graced us with his lovely presence. He had traveled from Oregon to be with my grandparents in their new home.

David and I were so happy to be married and enjoying our "new" family. We loved having Christmas together and getting to share it with those we loved.

Dating with Kids (including teens) in Tow

What do you do when you both have teens and younger children as well when you want to date? You find activities that satisfy everyone. One of the safest and surest bets for everyone being happy was at my parents home. We could hang out and watch movies on their big tv, play air hockey and ping pong, play games on my Wii system, and play more games on my two computers. It was comfortable in the basement of my parents home where I lived, and the kids liked playing down there as well.

On one of the first family group dates we did together, David and I had been upstairs where it was quieter. Pretty soon we wondered why it was so quite downstairs, so we went down and found all five kids watching Davey's itouch. It was a memorable moment!

Another time, Tyler and Davey were playing X-box in David's basement together.

One of our group dates was to the Black Island Pumpkin Farm and Corn Maze. The kids had a great time here, and I'm sure it will be a family tradition to go there. The picture above is of Hunter and Dallin.

One of the slides at the corn maze.

The kids playing tic-tac-toe at David's parent's house.

Davey, Tyler and Sydney using one of my computers in my parent's basement.

David playing against Dallin

Hunter cuddling up for a movie during a late night at my parent's house.

This picture is of one of the first times I met and played with David AND his boys. It was a Sunday and I had gone to church with them. My kids were with their dad that weekend. David always has his boys back by Sunday morning to take them to church with him. My kids go to church with their dad when they are with him.

 Sydney, Tyler and Davey heading out to tackle the corn maze together.

Celebrating Tyler's fourteenth birthday with David and Davey.

Hope you enjoyed a glimpse into what it was like dating with kids in tow! We have other pictures somewhere of when we went to the hot springs, and another time we took the kids to the local aquatic center. We had a great time together and for the most part everyone got along- miraculously!

Meeting His Parents for the First Time

After our first official date, I believe that next day I met David's parents at their house. Little did I know that in a few months, it would be "our" house.... Davids parent's are the type that when I first met them, I felt like I knew them forever. His dad is Scottish with all of the features that come from that blood line such as fair skin and freckles, and his mother is Spanish (Spain) and Navajo Indian with a small stature and dark features. At our first dinner together, I was told that I was the first woman that David had actually brought home to meet them since his divorce. I was flattered and grateful at the same time.

They had felt the same way about how fast our relationship was developing and attributed it to their praying hard for David to find someone special. They had desires to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but found it hard to leave David and his two sons. He had been living in the basement of their home while he earned his Master's Degree and had just graduated in January. Since then he was only able to find two part-time jobs, and one of those was coming to an end because of limited government funding. They didn't want to leave their son and grandsons in a position to not afford housing. When David brought me home, they saw me as possibly being able to help support and sustain David and the boys. This was an answer to their prayers, and they let me know this! I didn't feel pressured- I was seeing my own miracles happening by being with David, and their revelation to me only furthered my interest in him.

Our First Date

Being single with children and trying to date, presents some interesting obstacles- especially if you are living with your parents. David and I were both in this situation because we were both so lucky to have family to let us live with them and help take care of our kids while we were in school. Who knows how many hours of babysitting our parents racked up so that our over-all earning potential could increase. David had lived with his parents for 2+ years while he finished his Masters in Library Science. He had lived as a single parent for two years prior to that. I had lived with my parents ever since I had left my previous husband. I didn't fight for the house I previously shared with my ex because I knew I would stay in school and didn't need the responsibility of a house on top of all the other things I would have to take care of- including myself. Healing for myself and my children would take up any other free time- until I met David.

David and I decided from the beginning that our children didn't need to be brought into meeting people that we dated until we were farther into a relationship. This helps them not feel jerked around and fall in love with another adult only to have that relationship taken away if things don't work out. As a result, David and I dated for about a month before our kids met us.

After our first "meeting" at the pool, reality set in that both of us had our kids everyday and every other weekend since he had full custody, and I had two of mine living with me. They still needed us, so we decided to not go out together unless we didn't have our kids, or our parents could watch them.  Soooo, to make a long story short, we didn't get an official "date" until three weeks after we met. We still tried to go swimming at the water areobics class during the week while the kids were at school, but we were surrounded by people. I had classes to go to, and he worked two part-time jobs at the time. He worked at the Bountiful Public Library, and at a part-time government records position. He had graduated in January of 2010 with his Masters, but good positions in the library system are hard to come by- unless someone dies, or moves (which doesn't happen for librarians often).

This photo was taken on our first official date- while waiting for the dance to begin.

For our first real date, David picked me up at my parents house and we headed south to Salt Lake City. He knew of a cute authentic mexican resterant to take me to. The food was delicious, and the atmosphere was like stepping into a South American movie. He had served his two-year church mission in Puerto Rico, and loved the food. This was similar to the type of food he ate there. Afterwards we decided to head to the movie "Prince of Persia", which was playing at the time. It was a really good movie and had quite the european flair to it. Even though this was our first real date, we had already spent so much time talking, texting, and being at the pool together that we had moved beyond friendship quickly, and it felt so right!! So, on our first date, I enjoyed snuggling with my "boyfriend" and having conversations with him! After the movie, it was still quite early in the afternoon, so we walked around and visited a Barnes and Noble bookstore to browse. 

When evening came upon us, we headed down to South Jordan to Dance the night away at a local LDS mid-singles dance that happen's regularly. It's called Dee's Dance at the Noah's building in South Jordan. It was an okay dance place with a few interesting people, but the best part was being with David and getting to know him and his likes better. I found out that he could dance, and that he could sing- which he did quite often just for me. We had a ton of fun, and he dropped me off at my house, exhausted non-the-less.

The First Time We Met.....

Having finalized my divorce on March 2, 2010, I began my journey of single hood by attending institute classes for mid-singles. I had already been separated for 9 months prior, and had taken that time to work on my "baggage" from my previous marriage.  My previous spouse and I worked very hard to try to keep a good relationship with each other so that our children would have less scarring. It was VERY hard- but we knew that we still had years to go to raise our kids, and forever to deal with our issues. No sense in making a bad situation worse.  My advice- be amicable as much as possible. Revenge hurts the giver and receiver and makes no one happy. Conflict rips at the heart strings of the kids who want to love both parents. Now- back to happier thoughts.....

On May 16th, 2010, I was feeling a little down, and pimply, and fat, :-) but it was Sunday, and there was a great fireside for Mid Single Adults happening at a local church building with Chris Heimerdinger- the author of the popular LDS book series Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites. I thought this would be fun to go to. As was my style, I arrived a few minutes late and sat in the back of the chapel. Little did I know that I sat behind my future companion......

After the fireside, I jumped into a conversation with the two guys in front of me, who both ended up being named David. This was awesome for me because my daughter had recently had a dream that I would marry a man named David. I thought to myself, "Wow, what are the chances of finding TWO single Davids to talk too?" We instantly became friends, and headed into the cultural hall to eat ice cream with the others. We ended up having another female join with us to talk (Jen) and had a lively conversation for the next 45 minutes. We were probably the youngest people to attended that fireside, and this is probably why we gravitated towards each other.

As we were talking together, I listened to each of the Davids, and both were charming, but during the conversation, my future David took off his glasses while talking with me, I could tell he was interested in me, which was exciting. He had darker features that the other David, which I also loved. His nature was compassionate too because I was worried about a pimple on my cheek, and he made sure to tell me about a mole on his cheek that he lived with for years that he had removed. It helped me be at ease with my lack of beauty that night. Sometimes little things can give you big insights into a person's character. 

After we were all through eating our ice cream and the building was emptying out, we headed to the foyer. There Chris Heimerdinger and his wife were conversing with a couple other people. Since I'm not very shy in my later years, I struck up a conversation as well with him. Then I suggested we get a picture of our little group talking with him. By then, the other David had walked away for a minute, and my David decided he would take the picture with Jen and I. So, I have a picture of the night David and I met, with him behind the camera. How lucky is that?

L-R: Me, Chris Heimerdinger, his wife, and Jen

The four of us had written down our names so that we could find each other on Facebook. This was our only link to see each other again. When I got home that night, I quickly got on FB and found my David and added him. He was on and quickly accepted. I also added the other David and Jen as friends as well. We then started chatting on FB and got one another's phone numbers. Let's just say we talked into the wee hours of the morning. I could tell him anything, and he had something compassionate and caring to reply with. This thoughtful, yet non-judging attitude won me over. I was hooked. He also told me many things, and I guess he enjoyed my conversation as well :)

Later on, I found out David had been thinking of not going to the fireside that night, just like I had. I have since figured out that Satan tries to keep us from good things, or really great learning experiences by making us not want to go. I was bombarded by feelings of self-hate but chose to ignore them. Every good thing that has happened in my life as of yet, hinged on that moment of ignoring the self-hate. David had to face it that night too, and now look at where we are!

Call me crazy- because I am- but David and I decided that our next meeting would be right after dropping our kids off at school (they were across the street from each other) and we would go to his water aerobics class at the local pool. This was really dare-devilish for me because I have always had issues with my ultra-white skin and now my weight. But I knew that many of the women in the class were elderly, and wouldn't judge me. I knew that if David could accept my body with all it's flaws, then I could more completely enjoy his company. This worked like a charm. We had a wonderful time and saw a lady that knew me several years ago when I was going through a rocky marriage and had known David for at least a year. She was so happy for David to have found me to be friends with, and she even backed up my stories of how my life was like before. She was the right person in the right place with a perfect understanding. 

After our wonderful time at the pool, I decided to give David a kiss when we were at the car. He had earned it for being so sweet with me. I cried afterwards because I had never felt so unconditionally loved and I had been through so much to get that feeling. Those were tears of sorrow, and happiness. Our mutual friend being at the pool- who had been a mentor to me previously- was not a coincidence. There are no coincidences..... Things like this happened throughout our courtship, like we were being guided and helped along by others seen and unseen. My next post will be about our courtship.....Remember to live life fully, face your fears, and move forward.  

One of the Best Books on Step-Families

I have really enjoyed reading this book, The Smart Step-Family: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family, on step-parenting and families. It has a Christian theme and positive teaching tools as well as advice for starting your own step-family support group with other friends and family. This would be a great gift for someone who is getting remarried and has children. Pass it on!