Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Out of the Ashes

From the ashes of two failed temple marriages, one from each spouse, comes the promise of eternal happiness through the union of two dedicated (but by no means perfect) followers of Christ. David and I (Julie) were married in the Bountiful Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in December of 2010. Joining us on this special day were five children filled with excitement, and a little trepidation. We were supported on that special day with the presence of loving family and special friends who looked to our union as an exciting, fresh start for our family.

David and I put blinders on to our fears, and the world's statistics, in order to build our new marriage on a firm foundation. We began by making sure that we were worthy of being married again in the Temple, which is not easy for those who have been married previously. In order to be married in the temple in a timely manner, it requires that we abstain from sex while not married, live the commandments, have testimonies of Jesus and His church today, as well as paying tithing of 10% of our income to our church. We knew that the blessings that come from living those standards would ensure that we had access to God's great protection as we sought to build our marriage and combine our families. We could only be blessed for living such high ideals.

With our marriage, we joined my three children from my previous marriage, and David's two children from his previous marriage. Tyler (14-son), Sydney (11-daughter), and Dallin (4-son) are my children, and David (Davey 15-son) and Hunter(9-son) are David's children. Each child was happy to have us get married, but I could tell that they were nervous about how their life would change and would they really be happy sharing their mom or dad with new siblings- permanently.

On our wedding day

In order to help our family become more unified, I've been reading books and articles on step families and we've been attending step family classes put on by the Utah State University Extension Service (check out the link). These have really helped us to see that the issues we are facing are common for our situation, and are giving us resources to help solve these problems and work together. Since then, I've learned that the term "blended family" is not an accurate description of what a second marriage is supposed to be like, since this assumes that everyone is liquefied and looses their uniqueness. Rather, the term "step family" is preferred in clinical settings, but I had already named this blog "My Blessed Blended Family" and I liked the way it sounded. Besides, when you blend yogurt, you still see the fruit chunks =}

My goals for this blog is to share our blunders, our foibles, and ultimately our success as an eternal family. I hope you laugh, cry, and scoff at some of our attempts, but most of all learn from us. If life was meant to be easy, then why would we need to live? Even rocks weather the storms and are formed under intense pressure. Flowers hold fast in the wind and can bloom in the snow. So can we....


  1. Julie, I'm so happy for this new start for you and David and your family. I look forward to watching and reading about how you're growing together here. Thanks for sharing, best wishes!!

  2. :) I am happy for u both and your kids. I hope the Step Family class helps your family.

  3. Wonderful entry! So happy that you have both found love again.

  4. Julie,
    Very touching blog entry. It looks like you all are doing all the right things. So happy for you both. All things do work out with the hand of the Lord.